Many of us that are brain injured wonder if we’ll ever be able to find love after sustaining a traumatic brain injury and living with post concussion syndrome. My friends and family have been telling me I should start dating again. Unfortunately, late April / early May through mid-August was a really challenging time for me in the health department. When I came out the hospital in August, I felt much better than I had since April. Therefore, I decided to try online dating after numerous setups (through friends).
In the last few months, I’ve gone on a number of dates. Some good, some I want to run out the back door! My TBIs and PCS pale in comparison to some of these men’s issues. No joke! Here are just a few of the matters I have run into:
- The very first guy I met for coffee demanded that I take down my profile, move in with him and his daughter that day! WTH?
- I’ve been asked if I’m looking for a sugar daddy.
- If I’m willing to be a cougar twice – one with a 26 year old and another with a 24 year old!
- When I want to meet to have sex…I haven’t even met this person!
- Am I interested in a FWB (friends with benefits) situation.
- How do I feel about being in a swinging relationship?
- I stopped counting d**k pics. What’s wrong with these men? Who does that?
- After a coffee date, several men have demanded I take down my profile and make this exclusive. I spent one hour with them!
- Three convicted felons – and I’m not talking DUIs! Armed robberies and sexual offenders will definitely not pass the smell test with my family!
- I call one the “6-figure guy” – like I really care if you he makes “6 Figures!” I was pretty successful in my corporate career so someone that leads with this type of lingo is a turn-off (for me).
- I told one guy on the fourth date that I would not have relations without condoms – he never spoke to me again!
- I’ve stopped counting how many I’ve had to block for inappropriate conduct.
- After speaking with one guy for awhile, I gave him my google voice number. Everytime I got on the dating site he kept sending messages such as “you’re cheating on me,” “take your profile down,” just badgering me on line. I decided to block him but forgot to block him on google voice and he started calling me a “F’ing c*nt” for blocking him! His true colors came through rather quickly. Good riddance!
- Multiple men have told me they are in love with me after one date! Talk about objectifying me! I’m attractive but I’m not a 10! I could stand to lose a few pounds and tone up but I love the skin I’m in – I’m doing my best!
The aforementioned are the crazies that have contacted me. On a positive note, I have met a few good, quality guys. I’ve been upfront from the beginning that I have multiple traumatic brain injuries and post concussion syndrome. Most have been understanding and actually did research! These are the type of men that I am interested in – understanding, caring, non-judgmental, down to earth and fun conversationalists!
In conclusion, dating has been challenging but I have met some quality people. Forget the loose cannons! Also, getting a google voice number was SO important versus giving out my real number. I had given my real number to a few men early on and one did a reverse phone-lookup. He found my private, personal Facebook and Instagram accounts plus my blog. It felt creepy and a little stalker-ish to me.
I finally feel hope that maybe I will find love again! I may have TBIs and PCS yet I’m a caring, loving, kind, intelligent, quality woman and I’m grateful others recognize that. I CHOOSE to lead with my heart because my head is healing! I’m proud of myself for taking chances but I’m cognizant of red flags; safety comes first! TBI or not, online dating can be scary. God has a plan for me and I believe he will lead me to the right man.
Thank you for reading! If you have stories to share, please do! We are in this “brain recovery” process together!