Many of us that are brain injured wonder if we’ll ever be able to find love after sustaining a traumatic brain injury and living with post concussion syndrome. My friends and family have been telling me I should start dating again. Unfortunately, late April / early May through mid-August was a really challenging time for me in the health department. When I came out the hospital in August, I felt much better than I had since April. Therefore, I decided to try online dating after numerous setups (through friends).

In the last few months, I’ve gone on a number of dates. Some good, some I want to run out the back door! My TBIs and PCS pale in comparison to some of these men’s issues. No joke! Here are just a few of the matters I have run into:

  1. The very first guy I met for coffee demanded that I take down my profile, move in with him and his daughter that day! WTH?
  2. I’ve been asked if I’m looking for a sugar daddy.
  3. If I’m willing to be a cougar twice – one with a 26 year old and another with a 24 year old!
  4. When I want to meet to have sex…I haven’t even met this person!
  5. Am I interested in a FWB (friends with benefits) situation.
  6. How do I feel about being in a swinging relationship?
  7. I stopped counting d**k pics. What’s wrong with these men? Who does that?
  8. After a coffee date, several men have demanded I take down my profile and make this exclusive. I spent one hour with them!
  9. Three convicted felons – and I’m not talking DUIs! Armed robberies and sexual offenders will definitely not pass the smell test with my family!
  10. I call one the “6-figure guy” – like I really care if you he makes “6 Figures!” I was pretty successful in my corporate career so someone that leads with this type of lingo is a turn-off (for me).
  11. I told one guy on the fourth date that I would not have relations without condoms – he never spoke to me again!
  12. I’ve stopped counting how many I’ve had to block for inappropriate conduct.
  13. After speaking with one guy for awhile, I gave him my google voice number. Everytime I got on the dating site he kept sending messages such as “you’re cheating on me,” “take your profile down,” just badgering me on line. I decided to block him but forgot to block him on google voice and he started calling me a “F’ing c*nt” for blocking him! His true colors came through rather quickly. Good riddance!
  14. Multiple men have told me they are in love with me after one date! Talk about objectifying me! I’m attractive but I’m not a 10! I could stand to lose a few pounds and tone up but I love the skin I’m in – I’m doing my best!

The aforementioned are the crazies that have contacted me. On a positive note, I have met a few good, quality guys. I’ve been upfront from the beginning that I have multiple traumatic brain injuries and post concussion syndrome. Most have been understanding and actually did research! These are the type of men that I am interested in – understanding, caring, non-judgmental, down to earth and fun conversationalists!

In conclusion, dating has been challenging but I have met some quality people. Forget the loose cannons! Also, getting a google voice number was SO important versus giving out my real number. I had given my real number to a few men early on and one did a reverse phone-lookup. He found my private, personal Facebook and Instagram accounts plus my blog. It felt creepy and a little stalker-ish to me.

I finally feel hope that maybe I will find love again! I may have TBIs and PCS yet I’m a caring, loving, kind, intelligent, quality woman and I’m grateful others recognize that. I CHOOSE to lead with my heart because my head is healing! I’m proud of myself for taking chances but I’m cognizant of red flags; safety comes first! TBI or not, online dating can be scary. God has a plan for me and I believe he will lead me to the right man.

Thank you for reading! If you have stories to share, please do! We are in this “brain recovery” process together! 

One Comment

  • Dave says:

    We’re the human equivalent of a “scratch & dent” and if we have high standards or expectations it makes for a lonely life…

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