TBI and Trauma: Goodbye Toxicity (Blog 5 of 5)

This blog is part of a 5-part series about trauma and traumatic brain injuries. It is important to share this information as I have determined that this is a huge part to brain injury recovery. It is said that approximately 10% of TBI survivors don’t recover. Why is that? One lesson I’ve learned is that addressing trauma is critical to recovery.

My main reason for writing this 5-part blog series on trauma is because there has  never been resolution within my family. Walking on eggshells around my brothers is no way to live. I feel overwhelmed and overstimulated in many situations due to my TBIs and post concussion syndrome. When someone is attacking or yelling, my whole body shuts down. My body goes into an amygdala response (fight, flight or freeze). My brother’s behavior can traumatize anyone, TBI or not. That’s what he does not understand or he simply doesn’t care. “I’m sorry” isn’t good enough anymore. Lovingly detaching clearly isn’t working. I’m unwilling to give the twins anymore chances.

This post may come across as angry but underneath my anger is DEEP hurt that my brothers refuse to address and change. I would like to see certain family members to seek help for their anger, rage, abuse and violence, instead of taking it out on me or my parents.

My parents should be enjoying their retirement. Instead we have this family abuse  issue that continually gets perpetrated. I did not choose to sustain multiple TBIs and post concussion syndrome. My brothers choose anger and self destructive behavior. My mother feels that God is forcing us to face this issue. It’s very painful and it it’s extremely unfortunate that I, the brain injured one, has to be the catalyst for changes within our family.

My wants are very simple. I WANT a happy family and to not have to worry every time I’m around the twins what may transpire. Nine out of ten times there is going to be a blowup by one of the them or both.

In conclusion, it saddens me I’ve had to completely break ties with them. I’m devastated about the condition of our family. What I said in previous posts stands true. These issues existed LONG before I was diagnosed with multiple TBIs and PCS. I can only pray that my brothers get help that they desperately need so our family can heal. I know this is a lofty hope.