This blog is part of a 5 part series about trauma and traumatic brain injuries. It is important to share this information as I have determined that this is a huge part to brain injury recovery. It is said that approximately 10% of TBI survivors don’t recover. Why is that? One solution I’ve learned is that addressing and assessing personal trauma is critical to recovery.
Throughout my journey called “brain recovery,” I’ve learned to remove toxic people from my life. It’s hard to completely detach from family members. I’ve realized that it is critical for me to address these emotional issues (as a result of physical and psychological abuse) for me to move forward with my life. From my standpoint, working through past and current trauma as well as SUPPRESSED trauma is critical for recovery. Some people I thought I could trust have betrayed me in ways that are incomprehensible. I’m learning to accept that if my siblings are not concerned about my best interests, they simply don’t care. Furthermore, if my brother and his wife want to start a smear campaign on me (they did this to his twin’s wife as well that they relocated over 1,000 miles away!), let them embarrass themselves. His own twin who was his best man, almost didn’t come to his wedding because of what the Twin 1 did to the other’s wife. I had to persuade Twin 2 to go to Twin 1’s wedding! Bottom line – if someone is determined to destroy family members and turn on their family, what else are they capable of?
Thankfully, I’ve had the opportunity to do craniosacral, cognitive behavioral therapy and EMDR. Unfortunately, for me, all this work is for naught as long as I’m continually being re-traumatized. My brothers no longer have power over me. Trust me, they’ve taken up enough of my time, love and support. I will never trust either of the twins. EVER. I know my worth and no one has the right to violate me.
My twin brothers claim to “love” my parents and me but their actions are certainly not love. Clearly, they have a warped sense of love. I’ve received enough messages about what Twin 1 has said about me. He’s slowly, finally admitting to all of damage he’s done. For me, there is no turning back. I will not tolerate violence, rage, anger and abuse. He’s miserable! My brothers have to control every conversation and you cannot have diplomatic, intellectual discussions with them. If you disagree – they are going to take you down! Additionally, they are both horrible to my elderly parents. There is not one reason why either should be in my life. Family is supposed to be everything (according to them). Their idea of “love’ is downright sick.
I’ve made the conscious decision to only include my parents, a few close friends and a few extended family members that WANT to see me thrive again. It sucks because I’ve put most people in the “acquaintance zone.” Good riddance, toxic people! My life is on the right track and toxicity is no longer a part of it. My circle of trust has decreased and I have NO REGRETS! It took me nearly 45 years to finally stand up for myself…
Stay tuned tomorrow as the saga continues…
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Thank you so much for this post!
I’ve felt so isolated with people that I thought loved me either not believing me/claiming I was “dramatic”; to violently turning against me (sometimes literally).
I’m sorry for what you went through – you deserve better – but your honesty is so affirming.